The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing

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Several participants referred to themselves as the woman in the context of sexual partnerships, which they equated with being bottoms or the receptive sexual partner.

Even for those who had been open about their same-sex attraction, many of them described how difficult it was. So you go to her, stumbling over the hem of the garment as you cross the Persian rug and she looks up, face smeared. Even with these improvements, hate crimes against LGBTQ+ individuals continue to persist in South Africa [ 72, 73]. This is in accordance with the Minority Stress Theory which posits this as part of the internalization of a stigmatized status [ 49, 50, 51]. Meaning that something is possible here in this house where you envy the housegirl but don’t know for what – and it’s not what you thought, which was that you were forsaken, alone.For example, the average median age was 23 years across studies among SMM in sub-Saharan Africa that used RDS, and no study reported a median age greater than 30 years [ 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33]. However, men described attempts to reject their sexual attraction to other men or conceal their sexual orientation from others. Others shared that social media made it easier for them to be more confident, stating: “ I prefer meeting on social media first because in person, I am kind of shy. Some men described feeling feminine and behaving femininely, while other men felt that there was an expectation that gay men should behave in a feminine way, even though they did not feel feminine themselves.

Yaw made his announcement at the end of the hour with his hand on his packet as if the play were a Bible. She was kneeling there neatly, skinny legs folded beneath her, her hands on his knees, heart-shaped face in his lap. The notion of same-sex attraction being related to demonic behavior or possession was mentioned by several participants. Hoornenborg E, Coyer L, Achterbergh RCA, Matser A, Schim van der Loeff MF, Boyd A, van Duijnhoven YTHP, Bruisten S, Oostvogel P, Davidovich U, Hogewoning A, Prins M, de Vries HJC; Amsterdam PrEP Project team in the HIV Transmission Elimination AMsterdam (H-TEAM) Initiative.

In the peculiar hierarchy of African households the only rung lower than motherless child is childless mother. First, we discussed sexual orientation, including sexual identity, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior. Francis will let you watch from the little wooden table while he skins and chops chicken in the afternoon light. Participants discussed being proud and appreciative of the legal advancements made to protect SMM in South Africa, and reported experiencing low levels of violence on the quantitative survey.

Initially, the random selection of multiple interview transcripts was coded by two coders independently, who then discussed and agreed upon applications of the codes and produced reconciled, coded transcripts. In the study – as in the parlour, as in the dining room, as in the drawing room – this furnishing serves to mute footfalls.They share emotion-filled stories with honesty, addressing everyday personal dramas within the wider context in which self-worth and confidence are affected by racism and patriarchy, with revolution in the streets and revolution in the sheets being two sides of the same coin. And, set back in shadow behind the tangle of branches, ominous and concrete, never touched by the sun: those three huddled structures with their one concrete courtyard where the houseboys sit on beer crates and eat after dark.

Caterers swarmed the garden, unfolding round wooden tables, festooning lights along the walls, ignoring Comfort by the pool. Several participants were in monogamous relationships described as positive, equal, happy, committed, and fulfilling. Some participants said they exclusively socialize with other gay men, while other participants had more mixed sexual orientation friendships, such as heterosexual friends.When I saw the Nana Darkoa Sekiyamah’s name and the description of the project, I realised both sounded familiar. Comfort said nothing, her mouth full of kelewele, blowing out air – ‘hot, hot, hot’ – as she chewed. Sekyiamah does an excellent job of reminding us of the complexity of sex and relationships, and how these are affected by an ever-shifting interplay of personality, religion, family dynamics, cultural background, personal finances and life stages. Growing up, the family always identified me as a man, but deep down I have always felt like a woman.