Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women

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Once when I was in graduate school, I got a terrible case of the flu and dropped a good deal of weight in a short amount of time. When I returned to campus, a professor said, “You look good! Did you lose weight?” When I responded that I had lost weight because I’d been seriously ill, she just shrugged and said, “Well, however it happened, looks good!” I remember that moment as such a clear example that much of what we claim to be health-based concern about other women’s weight is not at all. It’s nothing more than an ill-disguised bit of buy-in to a culture that says our worth is determined by our body size and that less is always more, no matter how we get there.” A fascinating book on the joys of discovering how the world works, by the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of Cosmos and Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors.

We preach body confidence, but we live in a culture that doesn’t quite know what to do with a woman who actually likes the way she looks. It’s considered arrogant and even unfeminine. Think of the recent hit One Direction song that made the claim that a woman was beautiful precisely because she didn’t know she was beautiful. We need to question a culture that tells women they must be beautiful to be loved, but that they shouldn’t actually feel beautiful or we’ll find them conceited.”She also has some suggestions: Move towards more self-acceptance by weaning yourself from digitally-enhanced, photoshopped images on tv, movies, magazines, and social media. Wean yourself from that mirror obsession and making comparisons to others! Help teach our little girls that attributes like being kind, brave, smart are more important than size and appearance. Break free from body stereotypes with deliberate intent and perseverance! Watch what you say to others. If you wouldn't say it to a guy, don't say it to a woman. "Compliments about appearance don't actually seem to make girls and women feel better about how they look. Instead, they're just reminders that looks matter." An award-winning Northwestern University psychology professor reveals how the culturalobsession with women's appearanceis an epidemic that harms women's ability to get ahead and to live happy, meaningful lives, in this powerful, eye-opening work in the vein of Naomi Wolf, Peggy Orenstein, and Sheryl Sandberg. Do the work to dismantle your own prejudices in this guided workbook from New York Timesbest-selling author and thinker Roxane Gay.

I must admit, I hold the opinion that anyone with eyes and a brain and some time to reflect upon the Western trends and obsessions would arrive at similar conclusions as Engeln even without interviewing all the different girls and women, but perhaps I'm wrong. Talk positively about what your body can do and talk with your kids about what their bodies can do. Reading this book made me excited to talk with my kids about things that we love that our bodies can do. I would like to say, "My body made you! My body allows me to cuddle with you guys, go on walks, laugh, read, swing, bake, and write. I like to do things that give me energy and that will help my body have energy and feel good for a long time so that I can keep doing things with our family. What do you like about your body?" I found this to be remarkably sage advice from the author's grandfather: "Never be too proud of your youth or your beauty. You did nothing to earn them and you can do nothing to keep them."

This was a great book. I listened to it on audiobook and every day I came home with things to talk about with my wife.

Non ci vogliamo veramente far mancare nulla, come sempre siamo troppo avanti in materia di femminismo. Dr. Renee Engeln is a professor at Northwestern University, where she teaches about psychopathology, the psychology of women and gender, social psychology, and the psychology of human beauty. She is an award-winning professor, having amassed over a dozen teaching awards at both Loyola University and Northwestern. An award-winning psychology professor reveals how the cultural obsession with women's appearance is an epidemic that harms women's ability to get ahead and to live happy, meaningful lives, in this powerful, eye-opening work in the vein of Peggy Orenstein and Sheryl Sandberg. An award-winning psychology professor reveals how the culturalobsession with women's appearanceis an epidemic that harms women's ability to get ahead and to live happy, meaningful lives, in this powerful, eye-opening work in the vein of Peggy Orenstein and Sheryl Sandberg.The thing is--Engeln had some good ideas, and I think her thesis as a whole is something that is worth looking in to. If we train young women to believe their most important asset is their appearance … It is no coincidence that when women say things men don't like, the response is often not a critique of their ideas, but a critique of their appear-ance. This is the logical outcome of seeing women as objects instead of as human beings.” Furthermore, I think she frequently mistakes a socioeconomically based anxiety--fear of appearing inappropriate for a social group--with her more body obsessed target group. This is clearly a different thing and far more gender neutral.