Her Name in the Sky

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And I realized,” Chaeyoung says, taking a breath, “that there’s one thing I haven’t truly given you yet, and that’s me. My self. My whole self. Without the fear or the shame. Just with love, and abandon.” Her voice shakes, but her eyes are clear. “Is that okay?” They fall into bed with their stomachs full of macaroni and cheese and their teeth coated with sugar from their Coca-Colas. Chaeyoung wears one of Lisa’s old t-shirts—the softest, best-loved one—and a pair of her Victoria’s Secret PINK shorts. She lies on her stomach and starts to breathe on a sleep cycle almost right away—before Lisa even has a chance to ask her which TV show she wants to watch—so Lisa lies down next to her and re-memorizes the familiar sound of her breathing. The fan blades circle overhead, moving the air in the room so that it washes over them in gentle waves, occasionally carrying Chaeyoung’s scent to Lisa like a bee carries pollen to a flower.

Still, she pushes it down inside of her, buries it as far as it can go, suffocates it in the space between her stomach and her heart. She tells herself that she is stronger, that she can fight it, that she has control. That no one else has to know. We thank you for our athletes, these young men who will represent our school tonight and who will seek to glorify you with their performance,” Father Cho says. “We know you have endowed them with special gift—“And Baker might want to be with Hannah, too--if both girls can embrace that world-shaking, yet wondrous, possibility. All of that has changed now,” Chaeyoung says. “We had an overall winning record this past fall, all of our seniors are braces-free and beautiful, and Jungkook now stands at—what are you, four-foot-eight?”

PPS now that you’re 18, you might actually be held accountable for this stuff…so keep that in mind. Happy Birthday! Before Hannah can eat her small half of the nacho, Baker swipes it from her hand and eats it herself. Are you kidding me? Hannah half-shouts, and the dad in the row below them turns around in confusion, thinking Hannah is responding to the game.It was only for you,” Jin says. “But considering you were on the other side of the gym, what was I supposed to do?” Lisa raises a hand to her own cheek. She touches the tears and laughs in disbelief. “Yeah,” she says, her voice wet, “but I think it’s in a good way.” The house is dark and silent when they walk inside, but Lisa’s mom has left the kitchen light on for them. Lisa pulls the cooking pot out from under the stove while Chaeyoung pulls out bowls and silverware, and then Chaeyoung hops up on the counter, tapping her bare heels against the yellow kitchen cabinets, while Lisa stands at the stove and turns the heat up so the water will boil. Sana hikes her eyebrows as she crosses the room to fetch the rosary bag. “Probably should set a better example for the student body,” she says under her breathe.